I am not technically in the sanitarium. But this slowcation has felt much like the "Kur" my friend mentioned (except I don't think there probably would have been five very active children and a tornado warning as part of the package) I have been taking small swims. Very short walks, and long naps in the afternoon. I have also been staying up long past reasonable hours looking at the night sky away from light pollution. And I don't get the multi-week stay; only five days. I was more on edge today. Less balanced. I found I had very very little patience for sounds that irritate me, for instance. People humming. Chewing bread. You know, unreasonably loud things like that. (sheesh!) I did realize that I was being irrationally tyrannical and probably just needed to take a break rather than trying to control everyone around me. The break was good. I feel I am doing well. But I don't know if this feeling will last when I get back and I am nervous. Which is ridiculous because I have been doing quite well. It's just that here at my family's cabin with the lake quiet during the week and the wide sky and no real schedule I have a different kind of freedom from worry that never happens at home. I am removed from so many of the "shoulds" that live in my basement and on my calendar and in my yard and garage. How can I channel this calm when I return to the unconfronted shoulds? The things that I have been absolved of by my friend but that still have to be dealt with somehow by someone... okay, I am not going to list the stressors here because that is counterproductive. But that's what I am worried about. Grateful Crap: slowcations Daily Convexions: took meds (150mg sertraline, 300 mg bupropion) took chewable B vitamins exercised gently in the lake (walking back and forth in waist-deep water) I need to remember the 4 different elements involved in defeating Depression: physical, mental, biochemical and social. I feel like I am doing a good job on the mental, biochemical and social fronts, but I haven't ventured as far into the physical aspects as I should. Gently. Short walks Comments are closed.
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K. BuchananQuaker, teacher, parent, |