I am not hypomanic at the moment. I crave sleep. I am sluggish. I want to hole up in my room in my house in my head and not come out. I am making myself leave the house, exercise with spouse, have tea with friends. But I don't want to.
I am worried that if I start doing anything I will slip into hypomania. It is spring. My question (and I may very well have asked this before) is whether engaging in hypomanic behaviors will bring on a full-blown "mood episode." But I don't think I've had such a mood episode for a while. Not on the hypomanic side anyway. Not since last spring, at least, when they tried me on Lithium. (A disaster. I cried all day every day.) I look at the yard with its layers of forgotten leaves and think "I need to do ALL of this right now." And I am exhausted and hermitlike at the very thought. And simultaneously terrified of doing ANYTHING about the leaves. Because what if I can't stop. So I guess where I am right now is an uncomfortable combination of anxiety/depression. Once again, not sustained enough to be a "mood episode," but persistent enough to be a pain in the ass. Happy Happy Spring. Grateful Crap: spring. Equatorial Actions blogging tea with friend exercise meds drinking enough water healthy food monster cookie Comments are closed.
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K. BuchananQuaker, teacher, parent, |