The OFP had me come up with a list of things that I might notice right before a mood episode starts. But I'm not really sure when one has started until I'm in the middle of it and then it is to late to go back and notice. Sleep is a big thing, I know.
The typical pattern is this: Prior to (or concurrent with or just after) more manic phases I stay up really late working on things because I am not tired. And because I can't convince myself to stop working on whatever I'm doing at the minute. Then I may be either super-energetic, super-irritated, or super frenetic. Which will continue until it stops and goes the other way. Caused by something or caused by nothing. Prior to (or concurrent with or just after) more Depressed phases I am tired all the time. I go to bed some time in the afternoon and sleep through the night. Then I am very lethargic, mopey, down and disconnected. And my thoughts come irritatingly slowly. I do not feel able. I do not feel smart. Right now I am WANTING to stay up really late working on things, but I am getting tired. Which kind of pisses me off, but I should be happy that I am not stuck in the anxiety-spiral. Looking back now I just remember all the things I liked about it: the fantastic amount of work I was able to do on my garden and the many many beaded cuffs I was able to complete. Yesterday I was a bit on the Down side. Not Depressed. But mood wise a bit sunken. I tried to find reasons for it, but trying to think of reasons that you might be sad is kind of a depressing activity. My thoughts were that I was sad because: the class that I am teaching is boring (because of me), that I am stressed about summer and not getting things done and changing plans and... stuff? But I decided that I was just having a normal down sort of time and I could cut myself a break. This also followed, however, 2.5 nights of being off my mood stabilizer. And while it varies widely, it looks like 25 hours or so might be the elimination half-life of lamotrigine. So I guess I can't discount the variance in medication when considering the mood crap. Back on, by the way. Equatorial Actions: took my meds tap danced on days I did not go to the YMCA did some writing did some beading did some gardening plan to spend time with friends and family Comments are closed.
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K. BuchananQuaker, teacher, parent, |