All day I thought it was Thursday. Oh-- when the other people were out at the zoo I made a solar oven. Out of cardboard and tinfoil. So on what turned out NOT to be Thursday I thought I would try it out. I put out some potatoes at the begining of the day. By the end of the day they were almost cooked. Which is pretty cool (so to speak) because it wasn't that hot outside. Just sunny. I will try it again when we actually have more heat. Also volunteered to watch friend's kid (who is a good friend of my kid) and we made concrete stepping stones with cool treasures in them. And then I was shocked when spouse came home and asked if I had ordered pizza... Friday is pizza and a movie for our family. This was very confusing to me. I wondered if maybe spouse was pulling some kind of cruel and belated April Fool's Joke on me. But really, that would be out of character. But I had some serious reservations about the Fridayness of this day. Grateful Crap: starting work again next week-- it anchors me in time so I don't just float from one day to another Daily Convexions to Family came to visit from out of state. Day 1 I fabulously collapsed on the floor of my mother-in-law's apartment and refused to contribute in any way to the decision of what to do. I abstained from decision making. Then I topped that by falling asleep on the floor of the living room while everyone else walked to a nearby park to play frisbee. Classy. Day 2 Something happened in the morning. Don't remember what. Oh, I know that we went to the library. Then we drove out to a park to play with out of town guests and then to meet with family from my side afterwards. At this park I sat in the shade and read my library books, proving once again that reading is a hostile action. I was not intending it to be hostile. I just think it might be interpreted as such. Just not feeling fully functional. Day 3 The guests came to our house where I was dull and uninteresting and declined to go to the zoo with them and also did not go to dinner. I felt guilty and relieved at the same time. I found myself having a really difficult time being around people. I did go out to dinner with a neighbor. And that was Very Very Good. I laughed and ate good food and connected with a friend in a way we cannot do when our children are around. Summation: I don't think that I should plan to do things with groups of people (even people that I REALLY LIKE) so many days in a row. I need some recovery time. This has always been true of my spouse. And to a lesser extent it has been true of me. This was just a very concrete example of that. Daily Convexions: took meds time with family time outside enough water Last day of work for teachers in the district. We had a fantastic staff development based on Courageous Conversations and led by a team from the theatre department including former students who graduated from distric schools. Although I was not feeling AT ALL participatory, the way everything was structured encouraged everyone to participate without putting anyone on the spot. I will have to remember the techniques they used for the future. My favorite activity was when we (arranged in groups of 5-6 around a table) were given a few minutes to write as many lines as we could think of to complete the phrase: I come from... The intention was to think about the racial makeup of the place we grew up, the values we learned, the foods we ate, etc. After this time, we took turns around the table reading one line from what we had written. We did not write it down to make one shared poem, but we could have. And it opened up conversations with coworkers that I have never had, so it also became a community-bulding activity as well. Back to my not feeling participatory AT ALL... At lunch there was a potluck. I had not brought anything to share and I could not ring myself to go into the lounge that was loud with friendly faces and piled high with plates of fruit salad, egg rolls and guacamole. So I sat alone in the room where the meeting had been held and did some work. Until most people were done eating. Then at a friend's urging I did go get something to eat from the vast array of leftovers. Which was probably good. Feeling down. Change of seasons? Change of venues? End of the year? Bittersweet stuff like that? And as always the uncertainty of the coming year. Daily Convexions meds can't remember (this post is significantly backdated) Grateful Crap: I like my job and the people I work with/for I made a new butterfly garden on the boulevard. I planted a bunch more seeds. I went and got a whole vanload full of wood chips. I put some seeds in little starter things so I can transplant them later in the season. I tried to clean off the sidewalks as best I could-- but they are still pretty muddy.
Saturday it rained all day so I mostly did nothing but read. Sunday it didn't rain all day so mostly I lugged things around the yard and engaged in extreme gardening, a full-contact sport. I have bruises on my arms and permanently muddy toes and mosquito bites EVERYWHERE. I am afraid that i will be terribly disappointed if I don't get any vegetables from my garden. Feeling disconnected and floaty. Empty and weird. Did send spouse to pick up my prescription. And took it finally on Sunday night. Not quite a full week off the meds. I apologize. I should know better. Even if I don't think I noticed a difference, it is just not okay to be so lackadaisical about this. Daily COnvexions: time outside aerobic gardening time with family Grateful Crap: rain following planting Not my bestest of weeks. I was supposed to have called in my prescription but I didn't. So instead of taking the meds I had left I didn't. And then even when I got them I didn't. I have also missed some important emails from family. Sorry, family. This was the last week of school. I did not teach Monday or Wednesday. So I did gardenlike stuff. I dug more terraces into my hill. I planted more things in the front garden. I need to walk the perimeter every morning and every evening to see what is growing and what isn't growing. If I miss the morning, at least I have to hit around noon. And I must plant more things. I don't feel like not having taken my meds this week has had a negative anything on me... I don't feel any different bad than I did a week ago. But then again I can't say I have been terribly functional in a moderated kind of way. Instead it has been all gardening all the time while the sun shines and then all reading all the time when it is dark. Lately I have taken to reading books about gardens in addition to my escapist fiction. Daily Convexions; spent time outside gardened the heck out of the front yard eventually did renew my prescription (but failed to pick it up) saw a friend saw family Grateful Crap: Stuff. i went to the county compost site to get some free wood chips and dirt. Realized 20 min into my drive that I forgot to bring a shovel. So I bought a toy shovel at Walgreens. Got lost going there and coming back. Meant to fill in part of front garden. Instead dug up the back walkway, dug trenches along sidewalk to improve drAinage and used up all my materials before getting near the front garden. Filled wheelbarrow too full AND on the wrong side of trench. Oops. Did not break wheelbarrow. Did fall over with aid of elder son. Spouse was amused but not surprised at the increasing number of yard-ly things I was adding to my to-do list. Pushed a bit too hard and worked to sweaty, overheated and out-of-breath exhaustion. Which meant I had to stop before I was done moving dirt. At least I had a grown-up shovel. Grateful crap: 11 yo took 3yo to park today. Unbeknownst to us the playground is being renovated. When they returned she was distraught. "Somebody destroyed the playground and just left a big pile of sand..." Then she sadly reminisced about all the things she used to be able to do there. It was heartbreaking and humorous at the same time. Both children originally convinced that someone had stolen the playground. Daily convex ions Worked out at y Heavy duty yard work Time outside Woefully short phone call to friend Posted with promptitude |
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K. BuchananQuaker, teacher, parent, |