There seemed to be an awful lot of bickering. And much wailing and gnashing of the teeth. Sackcloth and ashes.
WHY do we have to go to Quaker meeting EVERY WEEK.
Because that's what we do.
That's not a reason.
There are some decisions that you don't get to make.
No there aren't. You can't tell me what to do.
This, Quakers will tell you, is an excellent way to prepare for Meeting for Worship (sarcasm added liberally here at author's discretion). The bickering continued in the car, when all three children were being nasty to one another.
When I sat in meeting, I chose the pew where I usually sit. I like to sit in the pews because they are low enough that my feet touch the ground. And they don't cut off circulation to my legs. Which is a bonus.
Shortly after this, a fellow parent came to sit beside me. OH CRAP. Now his son, who is friends with my son, is going to sit right here for the last 15 minutes of worship. And it will be a disaster because they will get the giggles and they will crawl around and everyone will look at me disapprovingly and I will be lectured on how poorly behaved my children are and that they serve as an example to the entire community of how NOT to behave in meeting.
Can you tell I have a little residual anxiety over this issue?
I also thought that if I got up and moved it would seem rude. Like I don't want to sit by the parent. So I sat. Until my worry spiral got big enough that it threatened to escape and whisk other people into its path.
I realized that there was not way I would be able to focus on worship unless I moved.
The punchline: 8yo AND his friend came to sit by me. And they giggled. And they squirmed around. But the only sound audible to people across the room was the 3yo who kept saying in a piercing stage-whisper: "You need to be quiet!"
took meds (150mg venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion, 100mg lamotrigine)
hmm... maybe that's it.
oh: went to meeting
talked to people
attended support-committee for a F/friend
Quaker, teacher, parent,