Goodish start to day. Pleased with my new leadership role at work, went to meet with one of my colleagues to start recruiting fall students...
But then my morning work meeting went super-long and bled into the afternoon.
Which meant that I left my children to be raised by wolves fore much longer than I should have.
They were fine. They were playing outside and having fun with their friends. But it was NOT my intention to leave the 11yo in charge for as long as he was.
Came home and went into whirlwind cleaning mode. Tackled the nightmare that my room had become (I really missed the weeks that it was clean and relaxing to be in). I probably should NOT have tried to do the whole room. I worked at such a speed that I became super exhausted and overtired.
But it didn't have the same feeling that the hypomanic cleaning did.
3:30 I fell into a DEEP sleep while putting 3yo (who was "not tired") down for a nap.
Woke up 15 minutes AFTER I meant to leave for my class. Which meant I arrived shortly after the class was meant to start instead of some time before...
AND THE DIRECTOR OF MY PROGRAM WAS CHATTING WITH MY WAITING STUDENTS
He has never seen me teach. Never been to a site where I was. And now his one teaching memory of me is that I show up late and flustered. DOOFUS.
I am trying hard not to spiral into a panicky anxiety thing in which I worry about EVERYTHING. And tie it all back to the fact that I am a terrible person because I don't do well keeping track of time and I should have set an alarm and I could have done so many things differently. And I could have left my meeting earlier and been home to clean more leisurely and then I wouldn't have fallen so deeply asleep.
And really I wanted to have the whole house clean and shiny as a surprise for Spouse (who typically has to deal with the fallout of the day's disastrous side-effects of the children's play and my projects while I am happily away at work in the evening).
But the whole house is not shiny.
And I didn't get the things done at my meeting that I wanted to get done.
And I got called out into the hallway and lectured by the big boss... crap.
I am glad that I did not launch into a series of whiny and pathetic excuses for my tardiness. Because there really is no excuse. You show up on time to work. If you don't, there are consequences.
And one of those is having the boss think that you are a total doofus who doesn't respect her students enough to come promptly and prepared to class.
Quaker, teacher, parent,