I was trying to think of a good word for the opposite of resilient. When my Depression is kinda crappy, my moods can be brittle. When I get sad about something, I don't snap back from it very well. Even if I know that there is no real reason to be sad.
So when there was an episode of yelliness yesterday I just sort of stayed at a low. (And once again, I was one of the perpetrators of yelliness, so I am not an innocent bystander in this.) Even today, really. Still low. Not sad. Just not not-sad.
Grey. Still grey.
Why did the Depression take a dip? Don't know. Don't think it means that the meds are off. Or that I'm on the wrong ones or that they aren't having a therapeutic effect. Not so much a dip into Depression. More just this brittle lack of bounce-back from crappy emotions.
I think the brittle is probably something that would respond well to talk therapy, which I have not included as part of my treatment plan for a LOOOONG time.
(However, I just found out that the only therapist that I ever liked no longer sees only adolsescents. She now also sees adults for women's mental health, anxiety disorders and depressive disorders. And she is taking new patients. Woot! So if the psychiatrist person recomends Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as part of my treatment plan, I have somewhere to go.)
I'm going to blame the Depression Dip on stress, the unkown of a new possible diagnosis, vacation stuff (just got back from a week away).
...and my garden died a bit without regular watering. We didn't get the rain we hoped for. Hopefully it will come back a bit.
Grateful Crap: home
took meds (but not until this evening. forgot pill minder on vacation...)
150mg venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion
Quaker, teacher, parent,