I have been on a holiday bender. Which for me means all sugar and no sleep. Okay, technically I have been having things other than sugar. And I haven't really gotten no sleep. But still, things have gotten out of hand.
I don't have a lot of motivation to come down from the sugar high or start sleeping more responsibly. Because it is fun. And these are my vices. And I don't have to go to work or get the children to school during this week.
However, I do have to get back to normal schedule by next week. So I should really transition to a normal schedule. And get out of the house (which I will do today).
I don't think that I am on a manic uptick or anything. I don't feel super overwhelmed or speedy or completely irritated with the entire world. But maybe that's just because I am hibernating and beading and eating chocolate and staying up super late. 1:30 am, 2:00 am. No naps. But I'm not awake until 7:30 or 8:00. Still, that only gives me what... six hours or thereabouts?
Which is crap.
I noticed LOONG ago (pre-diagnosis. perhaps pre-symptomatic) that when I get six hours of sleep or less I am not terribly competent. At the time it presaged a slide into Depression. Now it seems different. When did the bipolar symptoms kick in? Don't know.
I think that Spouse and Other People I Live With would benefit greatly from my decision to be a Productive Member of Society instead of Someone Who Beads And Eats Chocolates All Day.
But there is something to be said for a break-- the kids are enjoying long uninterrupted stretches of time playing cooperatively-- on and off of electronic devices.
We also have a visiting dog, which the kids have LOOVED. (She is also surprisingly not barky except when the FedEx guy dropped a package at the front door and when the neighbors had a bout of yelliness next door.)
I think that when I see holiday commercials I feel pangs of guilt that I am not Martha Stewart. I am not even her horribly disorganized cousin who isn't invited to reunions. I am nowhere on her family tree.
Here is what I have going for me: I do stuff. And I know stuff. And I make stuff. Unfortunately, that leaves me with a bunch of... stuff.
Grateful Crap: having a break; having a limited break
Quaker, teacher, parent,