So for the time following Christmas up to today, the last day of the year, I have done a fair amount of the following things: read books, bead, drink hot chocolate, hang out with family, did a little work along the lines of "recreational prep" and tapped a teeny tiny bit.
I think that I return to playing horn on Thursdays this coming week so I better pick up my horn. I saw something today about the amazing things that playing an instrument does for the brain.
Just more fodder for my personal prejudice that all children should have the opportunity to play an instrument as part of a free public education. For me it is part of the "free and appropriate public education for all children." (name that Public Law...)
Brain-wise I've been feeling pretty okay. A bit on the super-irritated side, but we'll put that down to ordinary cabin-fever and everyone being home from school. Which can be irritating.
My latest crafty project (still beading) is bead embroidery on some kind of leather than some friend gave me some time ago. I really really really like it. The problem is I keep losing my knife-edge needles. Also called glovers needles, but then people think I am saying "lovers needles."
They have a triangular kind of blade at the end that cuts through the leather. The other option when sewing through leather is to use a regular needle and then have the blunt end of the needle cut through your skin. Non Optimal.
My children sing. And hum. And make terrible noises. All. Day. Long. They have a soundtrack to their lives and it doesn't go well with whatever is going on in my head. And sometimes that is perfectly fine.
Like when the 4yo does a loud head-banger version of "When I sit so silently" as she pounds on the piano keys and does a fantastic rendition of this Quaker classic.
Or when 12yo finds himself vocalizing tap rhythms from our class.
But then there are all the other times filled with whining and screaming and making spit noises and humming. HUMMING. All The Time. Tunelessly or tunefully and very quietly. Sotto voce. Quietly enough that it seems rude of me to COMPLETELY LOSE IT, but that is what I do.
Want to drive me mad? Here is the secret: drum your fingers. And hum eerily in the distance. Then I am gone.
It makes sense to me now that I think about it that auditory folks not only soothe themselves with sounds, but are particularly sensitive to sounds they don't like as well.
I did wear my musician's earplugs throughout most of an entire day. It helped a lot. I could still hear my children even when they whispered next to me, but the overall noise level was manageable. Must bead something cool for them to live in. Next project for sure.
Following my long-standing tradition of doing nothing, I am doing nothing on this last day of the year. Because, you know, time is fake and dates are fake and all this day really means is that I stay off the roads.
grateful crap: central heat
went on date with Spouse
children spent night at grammar
drank enough water
took meds all these days (150mg venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion, 100mg lamotrigine)
did NOT remember to call psychiatrist office to start tapering off venlafaxine.
Also have not returned urgent phone calls from friends and family. I got no reason. Just inertia. And, you know, stuff. Probably because I am really enjoying the illusion of not having to do anything and if I call people I know that there will necessarily be things that I have to do. Even if I really like those things. And those people. Ugh.
Quaker, teacher, parent,