I need to take pictures this weekend. I can't remember which ones I have used for the blog and I haven't shot anything since going to the North Shore. Which was October 18. Sheesh. A whole month. I am fairly certain that is true. It could be a lie. I haven't uploaded any pictures since then, at any rate.
Went to a teacher training today on mental health. Because for my recertification I need to prove that I have done continuing education in the area of identifying early onset mental illness.
We went through some activities of "unpacking our stress backpacks" or something like that. Do we carry too much stuff? Do we try to do to much? What can/should we give up or delegate?
I found that when I added together my estimate of all the things that I engage in daily (averaged throughout the week) it added up to 23.5. And that was only if I gave myself six hours of sleep. Which-- between you and me- is really not enough.
I looked at my list. What could I give up? I already gave up choir and coaching Lego League. I gave up serving on the First Day School committee at my Quaker Meeting. I gave up spending time with people who cause me stress (this does NOT mean that if I haven't seen you recently you are a person who causes me stress).
So, I decided that what I really needed to do was delegate. The problem is I am a terrible control freak. Or I am a really good control freak, depending on your point of view. This is one of the many reasons that I have not been drunk or done any illicit drugs. That lack of control is not appealing to me in the least.
I came to the conclusion that if I could just delegate sleep. Or the time it takes to get from one place to another. Then I might have enough time to do all the things that I already do.
What could I stop doing if I had additional stress? I had to care for a sick child, or recuperate from a broken limb...
I could arrange for someone else to drive the children to and from school (maybe).
I could stop doing "recreational prep." That is what I call it when I spend 3 or 4 hours making plans for a one-hour class. It is fun (occasionall) and I learn something from it (always), but it is not exactly a sustainable teaching model.
I can't give up blogging. Because the days that I skip I feel worse. I feel the ability to backslide. The temptation of letting go. Not DOING anything deliterious to myself, you understand. Just doing much LESS. Less thinking, less feeling, less connecting. Less accountability for being me.
Grateful Crap: back on the posting wagon-- not going to beat myself up over occasional lapses. The whole "perfect is the enemy of good."
took meds in the morning (but ran out of bupropion today and will run out of sertraline in a few days. will refill tomorrow)
spent some time with family
Garage door broke. Toddler-bed frame is ikea-size instead of crib-size.
Quaker, teacher, parent,