I have had some intemperate thoughts regarding my summer job. Meaning that I have had some of those "I can't find my lanyard... I should be quit my job!" type of thoughts.
I am very uncomfortable with the fact that I don't know exactly what my job is or how to do it and so have a hard time telling whether I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. It is the down side of having flexibility.
I got little to write today. My bronchitis is going away. I walked at the Y... not back on my running plan yet until my lungs are clear. I got the first decent night's sleep in two weeks last night.
Perhaps chronic lack of sleep plays some small part in my crisis of jobhood. Of course it does.
I have decided not to make any hasty decisions today or tomorrow or the next day. I have decided to table all hasty decisions until July.
Day 2 on the lurasidone. Can't say I've noticed anything one way or another. I really wish that there were some impartial observer that wasn't me who could evaluate the effectiveness of different pharmaceutical protocols.
I can't find my fitbit. My anxious wrist itches. I miss my friends from third lunch. I don't like feeling like the new kid. Even though the new people are nice.
I am surrounded by nice strangers and feeling anxious and worried that I am not doing a good enough job. Which is what would make it easier to say that I can't do this--that I can't continue to do this job I agreed to do. For whatever made up reason.
There is such a short time in this current situation... less than 3 weeks left... and I can certainly handle this without any kind of elaborate support system.
It just means that I will need someone to talk me out of quitting
for the next sixteen weekdays
Either that or I can figure out what my job is and determine that I am doing it to my satisfaction.
Quaker, teacher, parent,