someone asked me if i had done something yet and it was an excuse to think of all the things that i have not yet done. this was not helpful for me. what would be helpful for me is to just DO a little something every day.
just a little. not everything. not all the way. small steps, but stepping in the right direction.
i saw that anderson cooper blocks the twitter feed of the current occupant. i don't follow him, but it is nice to know that even people in news... maybe particularly people in news... need to find ways to disconnect.
there are 50-some days left in the school year. it is my intention to take an online class or two as a way to structure my time.
i am tired. i get tired in the evening. early on. which is not what i would expect from spring. nor does it feel much like spring today. the wind is whistling past my head just outside the kitchen door.
i made it through the day at work without wearing one of my beaded cuffs and i didn't even freak out about it beyond realizing on my way to work that i had forgotten to put one on. and that was more like a "i forgot to put on a watch" rather than a "i forgot to wear deodorant" or "i forgot to put on pants" level of panic.
i need to schedule to see my psych np. she wants to see me in march.
now is when i purposely do NOT list all of the other things that i need to do. things i need to do for other people are weighing on me quite heavily at the moment. tangible things that they can hold in their hands.
i want to write more. i want time to just sit and write on my fiction. romance novel. i'd like to try another round of submissions with it. but first i have to finish my edits, have my readers read through it again for errors and consistency (seems a little... lumpy?)
how is it that i can be so anxious about things and yet be fairly flexible? i seem like i have the personality of someone who should be concrete sequential. rule-bound. orderly. this is the impression that i give some people in my work life.
they are the people who see me in meetings. where my goal is to get in, get done, and get out as quickly as possible. where my goal is to do precisely what is being asked of me. and then walk away and not have to think about it any more. this is the ideal. or walk away and be able to use the very valuable information i have gleaned. one or the other.
people who have seen my desk... people who have seen me teach... people who have spoken to me outside of a formal meeting setting do not have any illusion that i am a linear thinker. abstract. random.
it is hard to stay away from the news.
there is this whole day without women thing happening tomorrow. zero percent of the women teachers i work with will be staying home from school. it would not be helpful to our students and who would notice but them? we're meant to wear red, i guess.
what i would really like is a day without trump. without any mention of him across the media spectrum. anywhere. wouldn't it be amazing.
i don't want to be political here. but i suppose political is a part of who we are. i wonder if i would feel the same degree of fatigue... the same bereavement over the complete media saturation... if it was in relation to someone i supported.
has this already happened and i didn't even notice?
like a tongue seeking out the sore tooth, you can't help but be drawn in to the stories that infuriate.
my fingernails are too long to type.
grateful crap: off switches. also popcorn bowls that let you make popcorn in the microwave
meds - 200mg lamotrigine
did sales tax for my bead shows
Quaker, teacher, parent,