Expressed Emotion sounds good, but really it is a psychiatric euphemism for hostility, criticism and over-involvement. Which are things that apparently are not good for bipolar people. Are these forms of communication good for anyone? I didn't think so.
EE from family, friend, etc. can trigger a manic/hypomanic or depressive episode. And this gets me back to the problem of what to do when I am hit with a trigger. Because it is unreasonable to assume that I will never face these negative interactions with people. And I already know that they are immensely triggery.
I was approached by an acquaintance who asked if I was open to receiving some criticism.
The answer to this question from now on will ALWAYS be no. Also if someone asks me, "Do you have time to talk right now?" the answer is also no. Because these are never good conversations. And usually they are not even useful conversations.
I should have someone that I can refer these critical people to. "No, I am not open to receiving criticism, and I don't have time to talk right now, but you can make an appointment with my negative communications factotum who will hear your statements and get back to me if appropriate."
Anyroad, after agreeing to hear the criticism, which was about a message in meeting last week,
I did not have a good response. I wandered off aimlessly, sat down on some stone steps and started crying. And for a long, long time. Then I went home and hid in my bedroom for what was likely to have been the rest of the day.
Except I decided to phone a friend instead and we went out for coffee and sat in the sun and talked about stuff. Mostly not the triggering event. Mostly a bunch of other stuff. And that was helpful.
I knew that I was having something of an overreaction to my unpleasant exchange.
But knowing that didn't help. I could feel myself tipping to the Sad. For a short time tipping to the Very Sad. Now settling mostly in the pretty dang Sad area. I have high hopes to be somewhere in the vicinity of saddish by tomorrow.
Didn't tap today. Now too late. I spent the later part of the afternoon pretending to sleep with the daughter, but really just hiding and nursing a Super Bad Headache.
Grateful Crap: friend
meds (150mg venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion, 100mg lamotrigine)
went to Meeting (which itself was awesome)
spent time outside
time with a friend
also I get points for time with a friend yesterday
Quaker, teacher, parent,