Not doing so great. And I don't like it. I seem to have a case of nameless creeping dread tonight. And all day I walked around feeling like an emotional zombie.
Happily (ha!) I heard from my clinical nurse psychiatrist today; she okayed an increase in my dose of bupropion. Which I left the house without taking today. So I had it at 4:00pm.
I hate roller-coasters. Pretty sure I have mentioned before that when I last rode one I cried into my friend's shoulder the whole time. "Why didn't you tell me that you hated roller coasters?" I forgot. I feel like I am at the top of one. That's what it feels like in my gut. Or like I am car-sick. Sort of. And moving through thick fog.
Emotionally it isn't like I am a wreck. I'm not sad. I'm just not anything, which kind of sucks me down because it feels icky and wrong. My face is inelastic. I feel like I have discovered a great natural solution to botox. I am making no happy or sad wrinkles today.
And mentally I am achieving new heights of anxiety. Fear of failing professionally, personally, and parentally. That there are too many balls for me to keep in the air and I don't even know how to juggle. This fear doesn't take any substantial form, it is just there in the back of my head.
And I am apparently also not dealing well with criticism at the moment. Communication has been my downfall. I owe several people emails and I am tardy. Which qualifies me as the World's Worst Person. Who knew it took so little to gain the title? I don't even have space cleared for the trophy yet.
I need to
Definitely in a blue funk. Perhaps tomorrow I could warm up into a red funk. Or purple. Just to change it up.
Grateful Crap: ummm... touch typing. Without which I could never get my thoughts down fast enough. And if I had to write longhand I would never be able to read my own writing.
took meds (150mg sertraline, 450mg bupropion) I am now on the maximum recommended dose for bupropion.
Quaker, teacher, parent,