When I was an infertility patient, well-meaning people would inevitably tell me charming stories about people who had gotten pregnant just as soon as they had signed the adoption papers. STOP! I know that you are thinking of some story that you know and you want to tell me about it. DON'T. Seriously. It does not help to hear these stories. In fact it feels terrible.
The bipolar equivalent of this is well-meaning people who ask me to describe bipolar disorder... and after I have tried to do so they immediately conclude, "Hey, I must be bipolar too!" Because they can't stop cleaning until their kitchen is just right, too. And I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "YOU ARE NOT!!!!" because really, what do I know about them? And I have no vested interest in being the only bipolar person around. But I must say it is unlikely that 75% of the people I meet suffer from bipolar disorder. It is just also really hard to describe bipolar II when my particular hypomanic symptoms just don't sound that bad. I clean things. I garden. I do projects. I stay up late. These hardly seem like pathological symptoms. But there is a qualitative and quantitative difference in my activities surrounding a hypomanic shift. Indicators that my hypomanic stuff is not so under control: people think I am on speed - or joke that they want to be on whatever I'm taking compulsion to shop at thrift stores (because I am a cheap, Quaker, bipolar person) aerobic house cleaning zombie gardening. panic about leaving the house panic about being without spouse nonspecific anxiety inattention to time/calendars/deadlines cannot be reached by phone/email/text staying up super late extremely irritated by irritating sounds reading smutty romance novels increased libido/lasciviousness All of these things sound like character traits rather than symptoms. But the difference between regular (slightly speedy) me and hypomanic me is that I cannot stop. And my inability to stop is what makes it a hypomanic episode. So if I can stop, I am not hypomanic. Savvy? Indicators that my Depression stuff is not so under control people think I am a melancholy drunk - except they will never see me to think this will not leave my bed spend much time under the covers prefer it to always be dark inability to leave house inattention to time/calendars/deadlines cannot be reached by phone/email/test not reading. at all. lack of libido going to bed super early being extremely tired all day cannot smile convincingly crying jags for no reason These symptoms are more obviously not okay and are more likely to be spotted by friends and family. Indicators that I am looking at a mixed state people think I am on PCP paranoia extreme self-doubt low self-esteem speedier than hypomania rapid speech (sometimes unintelligible) stuttering, use of the wrong words or words out of order ANXIETY irrational and dangerous thinking risky behaviors seem like good plans crying jags unpredictable Anyway... My best advice is-- on the occasions when someone tells you that they have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder-- do not tell them you must be bipolar too. If you think you might be, just go talk to your doctor. If it turns out that you are, you can bond about your diagnosis later. I'm just saying. Took my meds 450mg bupropion 70mg venlafaxine (minus some beads every day) 150mg lamotrigine Comments are closed.
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K. BuchananQuaker, teacher, parent, |