There was much wailing and Gnashing of the teeth. It was not good. Really not good. There was much yelliness. And crying and shouting. It ate up my energy for any kind of posting this day. Also, I fell asleep and dropped a book on my face. Then I am not sure what I did else.
I keep putting things off that I don't want to deal with. As if this makes them any easier or better or makes them go away. Perfectionism and Procrastination are married. Or at least they share an address and file joing taxes.
Oh, I remember I stayed up super late trying to get everything just right. And I mean Just Right for my class. I wanted papers that I was going to hand out in chronological order in color-coded folders in a three-ring binder. I wanted a system that would flawlessly keep me on track in spite of any distractions or stress reactions.
I heard someone describe Depression as an allergy to cortisol. Which was an interesting way to think about it. Everyone is exposed to coritsol and for some reason the Depressed brain does not cope with it very well. It overreacts. It freaks out. It tells you all kinds of lies.
Grateful Crap: that I am writing this post with the benefit of hindsight and I know the next day was much much much much better.
took meds but not until the afternoon. This is often telling. I mean, I seem to notice a correlation between late meds and less good reactions to crappy stuff that happens. I did a bit of hiding under the covers when I was stressed out.
Quaker, teacher, parent,