1. Wake feeling like you have possibly slept on top of a billiard ball.
2. Believe that it is 5:30 am rather than 7:30 am and wonder why Spouse is already up.
3. Stay in bed being somewhat sad for no particular reason.
4. Decide to watch sad dances with awesome choreography from SYTYCD finalists.
5. Finally get up, confess to feeling abandoned (while realizing this is stoopid).
6. Go eat breakfast (take pills) and listen to stories about children whose parents died at war.
7. Wonder why you are still feeling down.
8. Spend some time thinking about other things that you're kinda sad about:
9. SNAP OUT OF IT.
10. Decide to take a break by blogging or otherwise writing.
11. Spend 30 minutes trying to get the internet to work because you decided to upgrade to a new operating system last night and now EVERYTHING IS SUPER SUPER SUPER SLOW.
I am not down. I am not all Depressed. I am just having a sad-ache.
It's like a headache, only your head doesn't hurt. You are just a little sad and you're not really sure why and instead of questing around to try and find out what made you sad (how often do we REALLY know what caused a headache) you just need to ride it out and know that the sad is temporary and it will go away.
The things that I want to do involve an imaginary universe in which I can suspend time and I temporarily have no other people living in my house except when I suddenly want them to be there. And I can sit and work on my beading and sewing and knitting and there will be no negative consequences to letting other things slide.
I can see why I sleep a lot when I actually am Depressed. It is a great avoidance technique. I have been pretty good lately about NOT taking a nap when snuggling with the 3yo as she naps. Instead, I read. That doesn't throw off my own sleep schedule.
Grateful Crap: stuff. not the kind of stuff that i need to donate to the goodwill. other stuff.
took meds (150mg venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion, 100mg lamotrigine (see I was wrong the other day)
trying really hard not to SUPER clean or SUPER sloth
Quaker, teacher, parent,