I am aware (as is my Psych NP) that I am in a hypomanic mood state at present. And probably have been for some time. Since when? Certainly for some weeks. Most of June? All of July surely. I could go back and look, but I haven't been faithful to blog this summer very much.
Wondering about hypomania? Here is the ten-cent tour...
Here's are some typical signs of hypomania (with commentary on my current/usual state when hypomanic)
Confidence/Assertiveness – I'm fricken' awesome. I am Wonder Woman... (but not really because that would include the "psychotic features" that are not present with hypomania.) This is hard to see as a negative for me since I think my "normal" state is fraught with self-doubt and low self-esteem.
Increased/Unrealistic activities – I can do ALL of the summer projects in a week. By myself. Because I am awesome. And Wonder Woman. (See above.)
Energetic – I spend hours on a project before my energy flags. Six hours straight on filling the dumpster. Four or five hours in the sun laying bricks or redoing landscape. Truly I don't look at the time. I just go go go. This energy makes me think that my unrealistic activities might be possible. Also, I currently can't seem to get to sleep before midnight.
Racing thoughts/distractible– I should finish reorganizing daughter's room. No, I should re-landscape the front yard. I just got five new ideas for beaded cuffs. Wait, isn't it someone's birthday tomorrow? I think I'll do all of the assignments for my online class now. Hey, I haven't played my new PS3 game in a while. Darn it needs to update. Guess I will do a blog post. Wait, I'll check on my grades. Excellent. Hey, I wonder if anyone has posted on FB recently. Oh, I was in the middle of making potato salad. Let me just declutter in the bathroom. No, my bedroom. Hey, there's the toolbox! I should hang some pictures. Dang, that blog post I started two hours ago is still open...
Irritable – Shut up. Don't hug me. Can't you see I'm BUSY! Also, please don't mention the fact that I have a thousand half-finished projects scattered throughout the house.
impulsive - I'm not at the "I think I'll shave my hair since I can't make an appointment to get my hair done in the next 10 minutes" or "Now is a great time to tear out the kitchen floor even though no one has had dinner and Spouse is out of town" stage. But I REALLY WANTED to take all of the spare change in the house and SURPRISE purchased a new refrigerator because one of the drawers cracked and I don't like the way this one closes.
When I am closer to manic it would not have mattered that Spouse pointed out it was an unnecessary expense at this time. When I am closer to manic I would not have texted him about my plan. Because the SURPRISE was going to be part of the plan. Thus using only coins rather than writing a check or using a card. Wonder why Spouse doesn't like surprises?
(I am very fortunate that my impulsivity has never included recreational use of controlled substances. I am too much of a rigid control freak and it holds no appeal to be altered in that way.)
hypersexuality - (I do read trashier romance novels when I am hypomanic. Not so much right now. Happy not to have salacious details to share on this count.)
I told Psych NP that I am aware that I am hypomanic. And I know the kinds of things that I SHOULD be doing. Making myself go to sleep earlier. Having some kind of schedule. At least get up earlier. And at the same time every day. Paying attention to meals.
But at the same time I am not willing to do the things that I know I should do because I am getting S**t done. And I am on a deadline. There is so much that I need to do before we host a student from China in just over a week. In fact I have only a few days to accomplish everything. Now is not the time for me to develop self-doubt, decrease my goal-directed activity or lose energy and drive.
I guess I seemed on the safe side of hypomanic, particularly because I am self-aware. No change in meds. She wants to see me in September.
Hope you enjoyed the tour... have to go do 10,000 things now.
Grateful Crap: NOT mania.
taking meds (refilled today) 200mg lamotrigine
read The Hobbit with The Daughter
played Uno (also with The Daughter)
Did a Reasonable Amount of things today
Quaker, teacher, parent,