Okay, so here's the thing: I have not had a 9-5 job since having kids. Still not really 9-5 I guess. More like 7-4. Still, I am discovering that it is more difficult to schedule things like doctor visits etc.
Mind you, I didn't schedule them very well or often when I had the chance to do so more freely... but now I need to schedule time just to think about scheduling things.
Made more complicated by the fact that I just started this job in February... so I have yet to accrue any paid time off. And even when I do have some (beginning in April) it just seems more complicated than not to figure this out.
So for instance: I really need to think about getting back in to see the OFP and Psych NP. I'm certainly due for a med check.
Only I know it's really hard to get in to see OFP and I don't know what I would say to her at this point other than this:
I feel like I am doing really well. I am compliant with my treatment plan. I continue to take my meds every evening. I'm getting regular sleep, eating more healthily than I ever have, and actually exercising on a weekly basis.
I went from working part time in a job that I loved, to working full time in A JOB THAT I LOVE. I could be in better communication with friends and family, but I don't feel like I am pathologically avoiding people.
I continue to be irritated with how large an impact regular boring things like sleep, food and exercise have on my mental health. I was hoping that would turn out to be a myth. Kind of. But not really.
Do I really need to make an appointment with OFP to say these things? It doesn't seem urgent. Maybe I could see if she has any openings during one of my non-school days. Or on a Saturday. There's no rush, but I suppose I really should check in just on the principle of things. Being responsible and all.
I do, however, need to schedule to see Psych NP. Looking forward to that, really. Because I will tell her all the same things I just said above and instead of trying to poke around and find something wrong, she will be happy to hear that the meds are working and that I am continuing to have a good life.
Oh snarf, there is my anti-therapy bias showing through. Not that I am anti-therapy. I just feel like I am therapy-proof sometimes. Because I know what my therapist is going to say. I can say it to myself. I can write it and then know. I am introspective as hell. And more honest than I ought to be.
So what if your therapist is used to dealing with people who maybe are not so honest. And not at all introspective. And so instead of taking things that I say at face value... what if there is an attempt to get at the message underneath. To prod and poke until you bleed and then say, "AHA! I knew there was a wound."
Can you tell I am not that excited to go talk to OFP? Unless things feel wrong. Otherwise i feel like I have to make something up... to cast around for something that is not going well so she can fix it. Because that's her job, right? To help fix things? When things are right I pretty much have her blessing not to go in anyway. Maybe just for a yearly physical. Or once per semester.
I remember, though, that there was a time that I needed to go in more regularly. Quite regularly. I have no desire to go back and read those posts at this time. Typically around changes in medication, I know. Horrible horrible things. Med changes. I hope the ones that I am on right now continue to work forever.
Here's what I will do. I will call to schedule with Psych NP and see what she thinks about scheduling with OFP. Then I will abide by her professional opinion. It's harder for me to con her than it is for me to con myself. I think. She's pretty sharp.
Grateful Crap: still like my job. like it a lot. having health care that will pay for my eventually scheduled appts.
made stressful but necessary phone calls
dinner with daughter
tickle-fight with youngest 2
still doing the "whole thirty" which will finish up end of march
Quaker, teacher, parent,