I am in the state of trying not to be overwhelmed. There are many things that need doing. They are the things that in my imagination were going to happen during summer break.
I thought of summer break as this long unending supply of days in which I could be productive and motivated.
I'm not sure what gave me that idea. Summer has never had these qualities. No... that is not true. When I was NOT on mood stabilizers and I WAS on venlafaxine I got A LOT done in the summer. And I think I am trying to hold myself to that standard.
In that summer I built a terraced garden by hand and had growing things ALL OVER the place thanks to my efforts at zombie gardening.
This summer I have failed to put in the patio/walk in the backyard and my entire tiny yard/garden is taken over by giant and terrifying weeds.
No one can tell that I planted anything on purpose. I still haven't planted some things that i purchased in May. We're pretending that they are intended to be container garden plants.
My garage is a mess. Although less so because Spouse cleared it out.
When I have time I have no motivation to do things. And vise versa.
I am learning Norwegian as a completely unexpected tangent. Mine is a mixed marriage, doncha know. My mother is Swedish. I married into a Norwegian family. Spouse thinks we should go to Norway for our 25th anniversary.
I wonder how much Norwegian I will be able to speak in 4 years? I wonder if I will be able to study regularly and sustainedly enough to make any progress in the language. It can be a way to bond with my beginning language students. We can share our pain at how difficult it is to pick up a foreign language.
I am nearly done with a beaded cuff (bracelet) that I made for a woman who came to my last art show. I am scared to contact her to pick it up, though. Scared is maybe not the word. Nervous maybe? Anxious? Arranging to meet someone one on one is very different from having them walk by in an art fair.
I got a new lens for my camera and I would love to be off walking around and taking pictures, but I really need to stay off my foot. A pity too, because it is a perfect day today. Not even too sunny. Lovely puffy clouds and all. So I'm sitting outside on a rickety table in the packed dirt that should be a patio writing this post.
Grateful Crap... 5yo: "I don't have a heart to kill bees. A bee is a part of the life cycle. I have a heart to kill weeds, I have a heart to kill four-leaf clover, but I don't have a heart to kill bees." (said as a mantra to herself)
cutting myself a little slack
spending time outside
eating mostly good foods (starting mostly whole-30 for a while until I start running again)
sleeping mostly enough
Quaker, teacher, parent,