I know that what will jumpstart the Ass-Kicking of Depression is getting out of the house, into teh sunlight, and being phyically active. I know that the Sad is just an excuse to not do these things.
I need a reset. I need to recharge the whole Ass-Kicking proposition. Instead I have been engaged in escapist activities. Decluttering, Goodwill shopping, reading semi-trashy novels.
I have had trouble with the following routine activities:
I need to do the following things:
I feel guilty about the things that I have allowed to slide in the past few weeks that the Sad has colord my actions. I feel terrible about the people that I have let down. And these are not BIG problems. Meetings that have needed to be rescheduled. Questions I have asked that I may or may not have received an answer for. Mostly connections with people-- they kind of wig me out at the moment. People or connections. I don't know. This paragraph makes no sense to me.
I feel like I need an agent. I need to be some kind of eccentric person who has a go-between with the real world who can go about making my excuses for me and preparing my re-entry into polite society. Except that I am not so removed from polite society that this is warranted. It still sounds nice.
Grateful Crap: sleep again
taking meds all the time
spent time with a friend
learning to do emboidery
If I have been out of contact with you I am sorry. And I feel super guilty. And I am tempted to never see you again just so I won't have to be ashamed at my lack of attention to our friendship/familyship/colleagueship. Although I imagine if I never did see you again, I would get the chance to nurture this guilt for some time going forward. Crap.
Quaker, teacher, parent,