There are three pronunciations of this word, so far as I know.
It is my new word of the month. Mud and mire and backwaters. A condition of degradation, despair or helplessness. Anything that is shed or cast off.
I am unlikely to post well. My thoughts are scattered. I am tempted not to tell you that I don't want to continue taking my meds.
Not for any particular reason. Just because I sorta wonder what will happen. Maybe nothing. Maybe because I feel a bit stuck in a slough and I wonder if the change might bring a change. Good or bad. Just change.
I have, full disclosure, failed to take my meds for the past two days because I failed to renew the prescription. That is not the reason for my latest lingering downs. More properly the non-renewal is a side-effect of the downs.
But please do not feel the need to come beating down my door to let me know what a TERRIBLE idea it is to discontinue taking my meds without being directed to do so by my psych NP.
I know. I have committed to abiding by her decisions.
Spouse filled prescription for me today (since I would likely have obstinately allowed it to lapse further, forcing myself to restart at beginning levels before slowly going back to therapeutic levels).
It feels almost weirdly retroactive... Like I don't feel very well and so I want to mess with my meds so that I can later say "Oh... that's why I didn't feel right. It's because of the meds."
Except that is backwards.
I wonder if it is harder for me to get enough sleep now that there is more light? I wonder if my sleep is of worse quality? I am getting between 6-7 hours per night regularly. Which I know is not enough, but I don't see that changing any time soon.
Metaphorical crap: I am a muddy garden patch ready to ruin your nice new shoes
blogging about true crap
Note: Too Much Beading (again, not cause of down. symptom)
Quaker, teacher, parent,