I spent yesterday at home with all three of my children also did not have school due to a late winter ice storm.
I spent the day sitting on my bed beading a new cuff that has designs to represent the norepinephrine molecule. It’s a neurotransmitter. It’s one that I don’t have enough of. So I figure if I have a few extra on my wrist and they’re really giant maybe that will help. all I want to do is bead. what pattern does this follow? What mood state am I in when all I want to do is bead? My coworker that I jokingly refer to as my “workplace accommodation” is going through some rough times now which means I need to not rely on her since she needs to be able to lean on me. luckily I have a deep bench at work. Back up supports. And even if I don’t need anything in particular from anyone, knowing that they are there is a comfort. Stronger than comfort. Foundational. Picked up lurasidone to start officially today. No more bupropion after reviewing my history since it fizzled out before. I feel wrung out. Physically drained. Tired to the point of tears. i have spent all day wanting to bead and now that I am home and could do so... I haven’t the strength to pick up a needle nor sight to guide the thread. when people ask how I’m doing I tell them how my coworker is doing. Which is not what they are asking. But it is what I am worried about now. That I need to be stronger than I am... not even so I can be a support for her... but so I am not just another thing she needs to take care of. I am sad. Comments are closed.
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K. BuchananQuaker, teacher, parent, |