Met with psychiatrist today. Not terribly impressed because it seemed like she had not done her homework and was just getting set to rope me into regular talk therapy, which was not my idea of what was happening.
There were no further diagnostic tools. No questions. Nothing to determine my possible polarity.
I had done my homework. Discovering that no one really knows what to call the messy not-quite-typical unipolar and not-quite-typical bipolar mushy part of the Depressive disorders and/or mood disorders and/or bipolar disorders. But that generally the following things are super-important:
oh... and ROUTINE
Okay. Not major news there. These things are helpful to everyone. They might just be a little bit more important for people with off-kilter brain chemistry.
I realize that I kind of freaked out when the specter of bipolar was first raised. And I have friends who have also freaked out. And insisted that the bipolar discriptions don't fit me at all. And that hypomania is something that is experienced by everyone. I don't think this is true.
Hypomania (once again... because I also keep forgetting):
These symptoms are seen over an extended period of time... typically days. Not serious enough to cause big trouble, but noticeable to people around you as substantially differing from your normal.
Also 3-4 of these should be present as well:
It is interesting to me that activity/energy is now seen as important as mood when looking at the bipolar categorization. I have certainly found that it is energy/activity and lack thereof that characterizes my cycling.
However, coming down do it since I have no interest in medication to even out my energy/mood crap (except continuing with the antidepressants) at this time it makes little difference what we call whatever it is that I've got.
Persistant Depressive Disorder with Mixed Features
Other Specified Bipolar Bipolar and Related Disorder
Bipolar II (depending on how you read the new diagnostic tools in the DSM-5)
Whatever we call it, I do have an interest in tracking the hypomanic episodes and trying to just kind of get myself to chill a bit. Not on the good things. But on the somewhat whack-a-doodle things that involve injuring myself and interfereing with my family, social or work life.
Grateful Crap: Probably that I am not easily diagnoseable. It means I am not an extreme case of anything.
went to psychiatrist
time in garden
did not finish garden moving project
Quaker, teacher, parent,