I think it is common that I experience stress as Sad. And I think that is what is happening now. I am on the cusp of many changes. Change is stressful. New school year. New school for older son. New college classes for me.
I began this post while still hosting elder boy's friends. And I was unable to fight off the Sad. So I went out into the lake and cried. For no discernible reason. Which is where I cam up with the above Sad=Stress theory. Talked with Spouse who wondered if there was anything that would make me feel better. Couldn't think of anything. But probably talking about it helped.
Now back at school for workshop week. And I became much less Sad once I was in the company of my fellow teachers. Much more calm once I had space that was mine and remembered how well I like being a teacher and how much I like my particular workplace.
There are of course stressful things about returning, but it is the before time that is the source of the most stress. Before I return. Before I see people. Before I meet my students. That is when I Worry. So in some ways my stress levels have abated. A small lift.
However, I am still on a hair-trigger of weepiness. So that if I feel like I have done something wrong or said something wrong (particularly at home) I am liable to fall into tears. I feel more competent in my worklife than I do in my homelife at the moment.
Getting ready for the NAMI walk which is the end of September. Trying to figure out if I will try to raise any money this year. In general I HATE raising funds. Asking people to donate. Passing the hat. It runs counter to... me.
I sold a cuff on my ETSY site which made me happy. It also made me realize that I am WAY behind on taking pictures and posting cuffs that I have on hand. So there isn't much in the online store but there is a fair amount in my inventory.
New college classes start today. I am meant to be looking at the assignments right now. But instead I am not. Am posting here, which is also important. Still want to figure out some regular habit of posting.
I feel like a joke for not posting daily.
But I also feel like setting a goal of daily posting is likely not reasonable for me while working full time. Much easier when I had time to myself while children were at school. Daily writing built in while hanging out at the library outside daughter's preschool.
To sum up: I am Sad but not SUPER Sad. I am Stressed but not STRESSED. There are a number of things that I would like to accomplish but I don't feel the pressure to get them all done NOW.
P.S. I crocheted 3 rugs. Made from T-shirts cut into strips. Two rugs are six feet long and fairly narrow. One is just a small oval. I have some T-shirt yarn left over and feel like I should keep making rugs until it is gone. But I don't really enjoy the process and I would much rather get to beading. So I might just not.
Meds: 200 mg lamotrigine
Getting up earlier (so I can go to school)
Quaker, teacher, parent,