I am learning some things that trigger a mood episode for me...
Stress at work or home.
Too much caffeine.
Mention of people who are "missing" as the Maasai would say. No longer among the living. Absent.
Particularly mention of my friend who chose to leave.
Being in the place I last saw her.
Hearing her name spoken without warning.
And there is a lack of friction in the downward slide of my mood roller coaster. I tilt toward slightly sad and then keep right on going.
And talking about the trigger does not help. Because the mood and not the trigger is the problem.
It was clear to me today-- the metaphor of the bipolar mood thermostat being broken.
The triggers are not the cause of the Downs. They are just the little breeze that knocked me off the cliff.
Melodrama and mixed metaphor.
Plus I am exhausted and feel ill. Nauseated. Fevery. Shaky. Hermit like. Pulling covers over my head.
Step one identity triggers.
Step two figure out how to deal with triggers that cannot be avoided.
Quaker, teacher, parent,