Setting the bar low for this, my first post in nearly a month. Nothing too terribly exciting. Which is good. I don't think that I am doing terribly well, but not terribly badly either I expect. I am near weepy plenty of the time. For no particular reason. And I don't have much mental or physical energy to do things around the house other than making sure that me and mine are fed and clothed. Bathed is a bonus.
It is the end of the first quarter of the school year.
I love my job.
This seems like I am being sarcastic. I am not. I just feel very disjointed and not capable of writing some lovely fluid piece at this time.
I got peopled out recently, I think. I don't do well with crowds. I don't like interacting with people I don't know. And in the last few weeks
We had parent/teacher conferences
I went to a statewide teachers' convention for professional development
I PRESENTED at a statewide convention for ESL teachers.
After each activity I was basically rendered comatose for the next several days.
The presenting thing was particularly draining. The thing went fine, I think. Good information. Well received. Only, I was working on my presentation materials up to the last minute, had printer problems (involving individual UNNUMBERED sheets of my presentation flying all around the living room moments before I wanted to be out the door) and soooo... instead of being at the venue well in advance, I arrived with barely enough time to set up before my presentation began.
Then came the portion of the ordeal when everything went fine. I don't have a problem speaking in front of people. This is what makes me a fine speaker for the NAMI In Our Own Voices program.
But AFTER... I got confused about what time I was supposed to finish. And the fact that I finished four minutes over was not so bad. The fact that I didn't KNOW when I was supposed to finish caused me to have heart palpitations. Ridiculous. Who cares? It is an internal matter-- internal to me. Because the presentation, as stated, went fine. People liked it. If they needed to leave on time, they did. If I was confused about the ending time, that was just a funny quirk. But it was super disorienting. And I felt deflated and horrible.
Wanted to NEVER SEE OR TALK TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN.
This is what we lovingly (and sarcastically) refer to as a "measured response."
Then Halloween. I made stuff. The kids went trick or treating. My mom claimed that even if I never wanted to deal with people again, people in costume didn't count. And she wasn't really wrong. It wasn't horrible. I just walked around my neighborhood with my mom and my daughter-- who was the only one in her crew who did not have a meltdown.
At least not on the night of Halloween.
She has proceeded to have meltdowns nearly every day following Halloween. Sleep and sugar. I'm sure that sleep and sugar do not come into play at all here. Lord knows, they have no affect on me.
I have been subsisting on sugar and sleeplessness. And prone to meltdowns. I can draw no parallels.
Stay tuned for the following episodes:
Burning down the science lab (not really)
Farewell to a faraway relative
meds 200 mg lamotrigine
presented for NAMI In Our Own Voices
Quaker, teacher, parent,