Forget to turn your phone off when going to have a much-needed relaxing massage.
Get one email message (DING)
Two text messages (Bzzz... Bzzz... ... ... ... Bzzz... Bzzz...)
Then get a phone call (Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz)
Spend the rest of the time during final relaxation being worried that
And feel really guilty that you didn't have the presence of mind to silence your phone entirely before going in for said massage.
Let your children stay up ridiculously late. Because it is easier than trying to get them to bed at a reasonable hour while in an unfamiliar setting.
(Make a really cool sleep mask for your daughter out of black socks and blue painters' tape)
Let them fall asleep in their clothing. Or perhaps just don't notice that when they wake up they put on the same clothing they had on the day before.
The following morning...
Get in a knock-down drag-out fight (cage match, last one standing) with one child about the necessity of changing clothing.
Insisting that YES, the caked-on mud does necessitate a change of pants EVEN IF they are "nano pants" and he sort of splashed some water in their general direction.
Now there is only 1/4 inch of mud caked on them instead of 1/2 inch. This argument consumes much of the spare time built into the morning's schedule.
Have breakfast in a leisurely fashion (not taking into account the time burned by the pants debacle), then fail to notice the time and realize that you have only two minutes to be in three places at once. Crap.
Must drop off two children (early) before getting to your job (late).
Drop off one child for his class to be greeted by someone who says, "Oh, I see you are wearing the same shirt you had on yesterday."
But then this person goes on to say, "I don't understand... why you didn't have time to change? Are you camping? No? But then why... You SLEPT in those clothes? How did that happen?"
Feel that this is one of your finest parenting moments. Decide that you need to be ten minutes late to your work-grant job instead of five minutes late so that your child can changes his F***ing shirt, since by now he is feeling VERY self-conscious.
Then, race of to drop daughter at her class, realizing that you have neglected to supply her with the following things:
Then realize that you have neglected to apply or supply sunscreen to all THREE of your ridiculously fair-skinned children. Who are likely to come down with second-degree burns from sun exposure now.
And tomorrow you will no doubt be greeted with, "I don't understand... what do you mean you didn't have time to apply sunscreen. Is there something wrong with your bottle of sunscreen that you couldn't figure out how to open it? Did you not realize what time class started? And by the way,
isn't that the same shirt you were wearing yesterday?"
Here is the pint-sized punchline to the shirt issue (which hit me much harder than it should have)... the person who made the comment is required to wear the same shirt every day while she works with the class. Ha.
Quaker, teacher, parent,