This morning I woke up all not-panicky. And I realized that is probably something to strive for. I could even think about stressful things and it didn't make me feel panicky. And I thought to myself, "Ah, so this is what my normal feels like."
Of course this is kind of ridiculous way to think-- as if people have one way of feeling when their moods aren't screwed up. But this morning was one way that I feel when I DON'T feel derailed by the runaway mood train.
This morning I had brunch with a friend and it was super nice. She made a suggestion (and it is a brilliant one) that I schedule my calls to friends. Because otherwise I forget and then a long time passes and then I feel like I can't call them because I have been a Bad Friend.* This means I will have to get better again at writing things on my calendar and then looking at my calendar.
Sometimes I feel like I need a PCA just to deal with all the time-related stuff. Or at least someone who can help me come up with a very strict regimen. Perhaps I will have the OFP help me work on that.
In Quaker meeting this morning I had a song on continuous repeat in my head. Then it became clear that I had a message. When I opened my mouth to sing, a completely different song came out. Which was cool, but a little bit freaky.
I was thinking a lot about how difficult it is when people who share a faith community split up... how too often one of the people is left out because it is too difficult to navigate being in the same space with the ex. And this seems like a big problem. Because when folks are going through a painful split, that is the time they most need support.
How can we support the whole family-- both partners and any children who are involved-- as they go through a really crappy transition time in their lives?
This is a real question. I have seen this happen many times in my own family and in my own faith community. And I know all there reasons why this happens. Life is messy and there are no good answers. But I think it is important to wrestle with this one. I am unwilling to leave people dangling when they need someplace to belong.
tap danced for 10 minutes (with daughter who was in snow boots and a bike helmet)
sorted out the beads from my venlafaxine for the next week
took my meds (112+mg of venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion, 150mg lamotrigine)
went to meeting
time with a friend
writing writing writing
Grateful Crap: People at my Quaker meeting. They rock.
*Note: one friend whose calls I have been ducking (for no malicious reasons... I have been ducking everyone's calls) got pneumonia and was hospitalized just so I would get in touch with her. Which I think is going a bit overboard. I'm just saying.
Quaker, teacher, parent,