I got stuff in the works. I feel good about it. Writingly, I am doing a fairly decent job of staying with the blogging thing. I sent my trashy romance novel in draft form to Lulu.com so I can get a proof for my analog beta readers to page through. I am doing some curriculum-kind-of-thinking and that too is going well. Writing brain seems to be firing on all cylinders. Woot.
Planningly, I have meetings with my behavioral psych nurse practitioner (who I have not seen since pre-diagnosis when I unceremoniously-- and foolishly-- dumped her for my psychiatrist) AND the OFP.
From my behavioral psych nurse practitioner I will draft a lovely emergency plan regarding medication-related issues. So that if I have some kind of manic thing going on in the future I don't have to figure out what to do. I will already have a plan. Even if the plan is: stop what you are doing, sit down and call speed dial #2 on your phone. Then say, "ACK!' See, that would be a pretty easy plan to follow.
From the OFP I want to come up with some accommodations for dealing with my persistent denial of the existence of time. Okay, what I really want is a checklist of when I do things like check my email, look at my calendar, check my voicemail, call my friends, get in touch with my family, turn in my timecard... you know, things like that. I think they are among the things that if I schedule them I will do them. And if I stop thinking of scheduling as being scary and horrible and beyond me.
Realized one reason for not wanting to check email (that I may have mentioned before) is that I don't know what things will trigger me and I don't know if something in my inbox might be a powerful trigger. So sometimes it feels like I have an empty box that MIGHT have a rattlesnake in it... and I can choose whether to open it or not. Of course, that is not a very useful way to regard one's email inbox. Working on it.
More planniness: I am going to talk to the big boss regarding diagnosis. I'll let you know how that goes. I just think I will feel better if I disclose my bipolar self and talk about how it does and does not affect my work and crap. And with as open as I have been with friends, family and the whole wide world of the internet, it is not as if my bipolarism is a terribly well-kept secret. Which is deliberate. Not interested in living a secret life.
Also, I was thinking of my friend who mentioned some time ago that people could tell by looking at her when she was having a bad day-- her mobility was limited, she was confined to a wheelchair, there were obvious physical signs. But that people couldn't tell by looking at me that I was having a bad day.
And it made me think about bipolar disorder - characterized as a disability by the ADA - is a disability that it is (technically, maybe) possible to hide. But there are many that are not. Don't know where I am going with that thought. Maybe just that because I can (maybe, sort of, not really well) hide the bipolar crap doesn't mean that I should. Or something. It makes more sense in my head.
Crap. Forgot to take morning meds until just now. Be right back... Done.
Umm... rested with humidifier on and read how to avoid acute bronchitis
Will NOT MISS ANY BAND PRACTICES for upcoming concert
Grateful Crap: Have I mentioned how awesome my work environment is?
Quaker, teacher, parent,