Not sad. You can't tell by looking at a person that they are Depressed. Often you cannot tell by talking to someone whether they are Depressed.
When I am at my worst, I just make sure I am not in a position where I will be forced to talk to anyone.
I read the fine print on my anti-depressants today and it said that if you are taking these, it is important for you to have someone close to you who is monitoring your symptoms. Daily. Because you will not notice if you are experiencing side effects sometimes. But the people closest to you may.
I sometimes feel like I must be "faking it." Or that my Depression is so mild I should just get over it and stop whining. Except that it isn't always mild. And unless I keep focused on the fact that I must ALWAYS fight Depression it will come creeping back. Sneaking in and taking over. Moving in. Bringing plenty of baggage. Planning to stay for a long, long while.
I still wish there were a blood test, though. To prove that I have Depression. And some obvious outward sign. Like my ears would turn green. Okay, maybe not that. I don't really want everyone to know on site that I am Depressed. But I would like to have some proof that I could optionally show people so they would believe that i wasn't faking it. I wish I could show me. There are the days that I feel like a fraud.
The best thing really, would be some way of telling how I was doing neurotransmitter-wise. There could be some kind of scale where I could see what was lacking and take the appropriate steps to correct the imbalance. Instead of this random throwing of things at the problem and hope that we get it right.
And so much time waiting to see if you are in the trial stage, the error stage, or if it is working. And then you slip back into error eventually.
Grateful Crap: a clean floor in the living room for more than one day
took meds (150mg sertraline, 300mg bupropion)
spent time with family
decluttered some, but not too much
Quaker, teacher, parent,