Yesterday I went back to work and for some reason I woke up feeling really down and sad and crappy. Day two of the Downs. So I made sure to go to work early so I could establish myself there and get in a good headspace to teach.
But then I got all discouraged that my desk was a mess (big surprise) and I didn't have a chair and there was a note for me in orange pen that reminded me of how I hadn't connected with coworkers even though I had done a marginally okay job of keeping up with emails except for the last few days of the week and I didn't have enough time to finish all the things that I wanted to finish...
And then the big boss walked in right when I was trying to get done being weepy.
Ironically he said that he wanted me to do orientations for new students because (in addition to helping fill the hours that I am losing due to a missing class this semester) he thought I would be a good fit since I am such a positive person.
Who sits alone in her classroom and cries for no reason.
I did let him know that I am a positive person in front of students. Which he knows. And he handled the whole weepy thing quite nicely, I thought. Asked how things were going, I told him I was not doing so well, but there was no particular reason. And then he just matter-of-fact went on with regular conversation. Which was probably the most helpful thing he could have done. Then later--once I was no longer weepy--asked if I wanted to talk to him about anything (meaning Sad Crap).
Nope. Although I like that he asked. I told him--and I think this is true--that I am just coming down off of the holidays. That the all sugar and no sleep plan, while enjoyable at the time, is something that I pay for later with the inevitable crash. That I would just need a while to reach equilibrium again. That I do better with routine--with a schedule.
Today I discovered that my T-shirt designs did not meet the aesthetics that the editors are going for on tee public's website. Which made me sad.
Until I remembered that I did not design the T-shirts to be sold. Just for me. And perhaps rabid fans of my beading. The beading is the art. My children's drawings are the art. My mother in-laws paintings are the art. The T-shirts are just a byproduct.
So instead of enrolling in an online course on graphic design and attempting to create designs that would meet the aesthetics... (don't think I didn't look into this) I decided to write this post instead.
Posting is good for me. I need to do it often--which had fallen off in the past few months. Really since November when I started going into high gear in preparation for the sale.
Gotta go now. Time to practice being Quaker.
Grateful Crap: understanding boss. good tea. daughter who makes paper helicopters. bird named Yorick. Sons who build worlds for one another. And their sister. Friends who point out when I am going just a bit whackadoodle.
Plans for regular YMCA attendance
Quaker, teacher, parent,