I have been on a holiday bender. Which for me means all sugar and no sleep. Okay, technically I have been having things other than sugar. And I haven't really gotten no sleep. But still, things have gotten out of hand.
I don't have a lot of motivation to come down from the sugar high or start sleeping more responsibly. Because it is fun. And these are my vices. And I don't have to go to work or get the children to school during this week.
However, I do have to get back to normal schedule by next week. So I should really transition to a normal schedule. And get out of the house (which I will do today).
I don't think that I am on a manic uptick or anything. I don't feel super overwhelmed or speedy or completely irritated with the entire world. But maybe that's just because I am hibernating and beading and eating chocolate and staying up super late. 1:30 am, 2:00 am. No naps. But I'm not awake until 7:30 or 8:00. Still, that only gives me what... six hours or thereabouts?
Which is crap.
I noticed LOONG ago (pre-diagnosis. perhaps pre-symptomatic) that when I get six hours of sleep or less I am not terribly competent. At the time it presaged a slide into Depression. Now it seems different. When did the bipolar symptoms kick in? Don't know.
I think that Spouse and Other People I Live With would benefit greatly from my decision to be a Productive Member of Society instead of Someone Who Beads And Eats Chocolates All Day.
But there is something to be said for a break-- the kids are enjoying long uninterrupted stretches of time playing cooperatively-- on and off of electronic devices.
We also have a visiting dog, which the kids have LOOVED. (She is also surprisingly not barky except when the FedEx guy dropped a package at the front door and when the neighbors had a bout of yelliness next door.)
I think that when I see holiday commercials I feel pangs of guilt that I am not Martha Stewart. I am not even her horribly disorganized cousin who isn't invited to reunions. I am nowhere on her family tree.
Here is what I have going for me: I do stuff. And I know stuff. And I make stuff. Unfortunately, that leaves me with a bunch of... stuff.
Grateful Crap: having a break; having a limited break
Not as in consuming things like food but like a compressed version of the written word...
Women's Art Festival
was a blast. There was a lot of buzz around my beadwork, and I sold a bunch of stuff, which is a bonus. Highlights:
Other December Highlights
Found out that one of my co-teachers will not be able to teach her class this Spring due to health issues. Which means that I will not be co-teaching her class either. This was surprisingly not devastatingly stressful. But I did keep on telling people over and over and over that I was't too worried about it. Which probably means that I am worried about it.
My boss and the big boss have been talking about possible solutions for me to make up my hours. Which I think will be good.
I need to set a schedule. I need to put ToDoIst back on my phone. I need to return to keeping a calendar. I need not to have "pajama days." I need to make a commitment to do something with my children outside the house at least once a month. I need to cut myself a break. I need to push myself to do things. I need to chill. I need to write more. Or less. Or bead more. Or less. Or clean the house and clean the house and clean the house. Or not worry so much about worrying so much. And let go.
Grateful Crap: Our bird learned to say his name: Yoooooorick! And because we laugh after he says his name, now he says "Yooooorick! tsk tsk tsk."
I have not posted forever, but it is not because of anything drastically wrong. Things have been going well and I have been Super Dooper Ooper Plooper Busy (in the words of my almost-five-year-old) So I will QUICKLY catch you up before I race off to do the next thing...
1. Applied for (and did not get) a .8FTE teaching position. No worries. Love the job I have. Will love whatever job I have in the future (or it will not be my job-- it will be someone else's job)
2. Purchased (largely through railroading everyone else around me--without realizing it) a cockatiel. His name is Yorick. He is a fellow of infinite jest.
3. Beading Recap (the real source of my super plooper busy-ness)
Participated in my first art show (Craftastic Holiday Show in Minneapolis).
Quaker, teacher, parent,