Back to Children's Hospital with the daughter. She has something kind of like pneumonia.
It looks like pneumonia on the x-ray and her pulse oxygen is low so she needed to be admitted. But she doesn't have any signs of infection so she doesn't need to have antibiotics and presumably will recover sooner.
She slept poorly last night. So did we. Plan to stay here with her tonight and tomorrow at least. She needs supplemental oxygen.
I don't much feel like blogging.
Daughter is in fine spirits and very talkative. But tired and having trouble breathing without the oxygen.
Gratefiul Crap: Oxygen
sleeping I suppose
It has been a good day today. Relaxing. Full of weekend-type things. Children had a piano recital. I had pizza and games with family, and began planning a summer thing for elderboy who is "graduating" from his k-8 school this year.
It seems odd to me to talk about graduation when it isn't from high school or college. But whatever it is, the school is K-8 and they will be done.
Folks he has known since kindergarten. Or since he was 3. Many of his friends will go with him to the high school next year. Which is nice.
I am glad that i am not working this summer.
I will NOT make plans to fix all things that need fixing over the summer. I will decide to spend a bit of time on projects over the summer and make progress. I'll make lists. I will check them twice. I promise not to be naughty. I will try to be nice.
You will know when I've been sleeping.
You'll know when I'm awake.
You'll know when I've been good or bad
I'll be good for goodness sake...
Not even July yet and already I've started on the Christmas tunes.
Projects I am thinking of:
replacing (or rather having someone else replace) front steps
having giant maple tree dealt with
figuring out patio in the back yard
rather substantial decluttering
two classes through Mankato State
And also I would like to write - work on my novel(s) and bead. And make sure the kids get to swim.
Grateful Crap: making plans (remember that unscheduled time is NOT my friend.)
meds 200 mg lamotrigine
got out of house
food/games with family
Presented for NAMI today. Elder boy talked about mental health at school today. Or listened I guess. Then talked about it at home.
he is glad I don't have bipolar 1. Me too.
met friend for coffee. Which was nice.
And then I did a presentation. Speech for people in a treatment facility with dual diagnoses.
Now i I am a little zippy. It is a good feeling. That adrenaline rush of talking to an unfamiliar group has given me a bit of a hit.
Maybe I should become a benign dictator and sponge off the adoration of millions. I can see how that would be appealing.
April is ending. I will throw it a little party and be done.
Then I can think about slowly tackling projects I meant to get to.
My 4th observation of the year is coming up soon. It feels like aversion therapy to have so many. And I may become somewhat innured to them.
grateful crap: NAMI
coffee with friend
meds 200mg lamotrigine
plans to see family
this morning I had to try very hard to not think of all the things I have not done.
But i think I may need to get back to making lists.
Since crossing things off is good.
i might try flylady or something similar to get a handle on routine housework. And enlist children.
only cried a little at the choir concert tonight. I don't know any of the graduating seniors so that made it easier.
few of my students can be in choir. They don't have room for electives in their schedules.
allergy season is upon us.
grateful crap: I really do have awesome students. also term limits on Current Occupant.
200 mg lamotrigine.
chocolate ice cream
xmen comics on marvel unlimited
I was Debbie Downer at work today. My students asked one of my co-teachers what happened to me. "She's right there!"
But she's mean...
Yup. That's me.
Also grumpy about standardized test scores, cold rain, unruly students, Current Occupant, mean people, and my own intolerance of The Way Things Are.
Spouse has returned.
I don't feel like I did a terrible job of parenting in his absence.
I have an IOOV speech this Friday.
Anhedonic moments today. Could easily just be grumpy from weather and disrupted schedule.
schedule at work disrupted too for state testing. Don't get me started.
grateful crap: spouse return
200 mg lamotrigine
practiced violin with younger boy (his request)
ate real food
Being the ninth of forty daily blog posts whether I have anything pertinent to say or not. Because discipline. And stuff.
Last night I went to bed Responsibly Early. In fact bordering on Ridiculously Early. I was asleep before 9:30 I think.
Woke up before the alarm went off. And was well-rested. Weird.
I had already arranged clothing for all the children, made lunches and done something else... oh yes, made sure I knew where my keys were.
Saw to it that the children were bathed and dressed in passably unstained clothing for class pictures. I was beginning to feel rather cocky about the whole thing. Not my regular routine, you know, but with Spouse out of town I need to single-parent.
This feeling of pridefulness in my own adequacy as a parent lasted until we got to school (on time... early even!) and daughter refused to get out of the car. Crying. Because she forgot her backpack at home.
Luckily middle child was better equipped to deal with making her feel better. He put an arm around her and said nice things. I just shouted at her to get out of the car and go to school. And then also angrily mentioned that I would deliver her bag before lunchtime.
So there was a lot more driving around than necessary.
When I had time in my schedule (thankfully my prep is before lunch) I drove home to fetch her things and drove to school. While I was on the road I was listening to the radio and Sheryl Sandberg was talking on NPR about the sudden and unexpected death of her supportive and awesome Spouse.
And I thought... Oh crap! I can't even manage to get my kid to school with a backpack for a single day. And Spouse is going to die and everything will totally suck! It will be like this every day. But worse.
This was not the message that Sheryl Sandberg was trying to convey. But I drove around in my car crying about how sad it was that her Spouse died and being fairly certain that I would be in a similar situation at any moment.
There is no sign, by the way, that Spouse's demise is eminent. But nor was this the case with Sheryl Sandberg's Spouse. Which was further proof.
In my afternoon class the journal topic was "What are your bad habits?" I often share an anecdote as a prelude to student writing so they can have a listening and speaking activity prior to writing. So I told them that my bad habit was taking small problems and immediately imagining them into GIANT and HORRIBLE problems.
Like going from "shoot, my daughter forgot her backpack." to "OMG SPOUSE IS GOING TO DIE!"
Note that I did not call to confirm that Spouse is not, in fact, dead. If as I am writing this he has suffered an aneurysm while using a piece of exercise equipment at his hotel... then all of my irrational panic won't seem so irrational will it?
Grateful Crap: telling my students about this made it funny rather than scary
going to work
getting kids to school
doing regular stuff
meds 200 mg lamotrigine
Scattered today. Now totally cheating and writing this with speech to text on my phone. On my own with children.
Was not my most scintillating at work. Now not my most understanding at home.
Children are feral. Youngest actually hissing and growling because she is angry. Oldest manhandling his anger out on younger ones. While I try to order up some swim lessons from YMCA.
school okay. Still not sure outcome of most problematic problems.
Feeling down and blah. Not overly so. Just so.
but definitely on the side of ultimate curmudgeonly pessimism.
On the edge of headache. On the verge of yelliness. Everyone's poor and mean decisions are making me sad.
Not feeling like I'm doing great. In full retreat. Unwilling to deal with stuff.
Cried in meeting this morning. Sang Jordan River. Then felt better. Kind of. I guess.
Full retreat meaning all I want to do is nothing. And watch period-drama soap operas on my phone.
I will go outside for a moment when I am done typing.
This coming week Spouse will be out of town for a few days. Which will be fine. I am unlikely to be a scintillating conversationalist with my children. Nor are we likely to have fabulously innovative home-cooked meals. In that way it will not differ from any other night.
i made a giant cookie with no eggs. My hands are both falling asleep. I think I do something strange with them when I watch or read things on my phone. I try not to hold the phone, but I think I still do something that cuts off circulation to my hands.
Spouse picked up my prescription today so I don't need to worry that I am running out. I must have been on half-rations for some time. The last bottle I had was filled at the end of January. And should have lasted for a month. And I still have a pill remaining. There may have been another bottle that I was working from.
Parenting issue that I am mulling over: what to do when you don't approve of your child's friend. And it is someone in the neighborhood. So much easier if you can just conveniently never manage to coordinate your schedules. But when all they have to do is walk a few steps down the sidewalk...
I think the key is not forbidding your children to play with other children that you don't like, but sharing your concerns.
That's right, children, the glass may be half empty, but my hyperbolic cup doth overflow.
I still have limited/no access to my Facebook account which is irritating. I would like to be able to use the account. Access my pictures. Read posts. Write posts. Instead, I can post things to it from other places (like notifications from Weebly or uploads of my pictures from my phone - sometimes)... but mostly I just get stuck in a horrible feedback loop forever.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I don't want to come home from work tomorrow and I don't want to go back to work the day after. This has little to do with work and a great deal to do with inertia.
Which I am no longer teaching at work.
We have moved on to the structure of matter. Subatomic particles, atoms and molecules.
I feel like the husband in the old movies who is at a loss when the wife goes out of town and everyone wonders how he will fend for himself. This is what comes of having an able spouse. I forget that I also do things. I only forget when things are down.
Grateful Crap: Meg Tilly. Also being able myself. And having able children. Remember this.
dispatching Spouse on med refill mission
taking a break even if i do feel guilty for doing nothing
bathing (the people around me are all thankful for that)
I am having a devil of a time trying to get these postings out and labeling them properly. I am pretty sure I have this one right: day 6 of my attempt to post daily for 40 days.
Brief (but somewhat less brief) rundown of yesterday...
In each of my 3 classes I had to report student behavior to administration. Academic dishonesty, disrespectful behavior, theft of granola bars and unregistered use of a backpack prior to the end of the day.
In a good month/quarter/year I do not require administrative heavy-handedness. But in these cases the follow-up will involve meetings with parents, calls home and expulsion from class. So not just a little thing. Which draws things out. Which is exhausting.
Went to the March for Science today in Saint Paul, MN with my two boy children. Here is what that looked like: 3 nerdy and introverted people at the Saint Paul Cathedral, walked a few blocks down the hill to the state capitol, took some pictures of cool signs, realized that we'd had enough of crowds and arranged to be picked up.
Count us in.
Daughter cleaned up riverfront with the girl scouts and her grandma. Happy Earth Day.
Looked in minor despair at the state of House and Garden. Paralyzed by not knowing what to do (wanted to do EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW) but instead spent a short period of time outside clearing detritus from the garden beds and then binge-watched Bomb Girls all afternoon.
time outside even if it was with a bunch of crowds and then verging on zombie-gardening.
need to get my meds; tried to order from CVS but the Rx number is wrong. Have to call while they are actually answering their phones.
today sucked. Work crap. Stressful event/s every hour. Day is done. Gone the sun. All is well. Good night. More tomorrow
Quaker, teacher, parent,