I am beginning to think it would be easier to write down the days that I am NOT sick rather than the days that I am. There seems to be some arguments between researchers on whether there is a link between infection and bipolar. But my theory is this: stress lowers resistance to disease and bipolar tends to flood the body with stress hormones. So it seems reasonable that there is some link.
I have another sinus infection that knocked me on my ass yesterday (slept from 4:30 - 8:30 and then was semi-functional until 11:00 pm). Today I am vertical, but I can tell my body is not terribly happy about this.
Moodwise, feeling pretty good.
I have a confession to make: I was hoping that being on mood stabilizers would magically fix my broken mood thermostat. That if I were on the correct dosage I would no longer be prone to mood swings and moods disengaged from my environment.
Apparently that gets to be the gift that keeps on giving.
In my mind I made up this fairytale that for the first little while-- getting the right meds, some sort of recovery period-- I needed to be very careful with my mood health and try to avoid stress and triggers. But that after a certain time, I would be indistinguishable from a non-bipolar person.
Bzzzt. Wrong answer. Try again.
I guess that is one of the things that makes ongoing talk therapy an important thing: establishing coping mechanisms and reminding myself that I will continue to need coping mechanisms and that I shouldn't freak out if I go off the rails every now and again.
Pardon my language.
This means that I really do need to get back on the physical activity bandwagon. This slid into nothingness during the winter break and never really got back on track.
But there will, of course, always be excuses. And it is not worth the risk.
took meds (112+/- mg venlafaxine, 450mg bupropion, 150mg lamotrigine)
Grateful Crap - 4yo: "Every day my love for you levels up!"
Quaker, teacher, parent,