The others loosed the cables, and coming aboard themselves took places at the pins. A favorable wind clear-eyed Athene sent, a brisk west wind that sang along the wine-dark sea.
So if I am waking on a Saturday and searching Homer for references to Athene clear-eye, Athene with the flashing eyes, grey-eyed Athene...
It is because I feel clear of eye. And somewhat sharp if mind. Yesterday I even put together a brainstormed proposal for a class... which takes the kind of creative leaps and academic connections my sluggish Depressed brain cannot hope to make.
Now is when I have to fight the urge to look back and pull myself down over all the things I did not do when the Deoression was at its most acute.
I was able to take care of me. And (mostly) stuff at work. No extras. No art. No photographs. No carting my children around to their extras.
I am not under the delusion that I am out of the Depressed woods yet. And we all know this is the gift that bipolar will keep on giving. But this morning, and much of yesterday (except toward the end) I feel more my able self.
I am on day 3 on lurasidone that my psych NP has me keep on hand for treatment of acute Depressive episodes.
I think it has helped my brain course-correct. But I hope not to be on it long term. I wasn’t last time. Summer 2016 I was on for about 1 month and just kind of let it run out. And things stYed fine so psych NP sAid I could stay off unless needed.
One thing I don’t like is that it knocks me out. Very drowsy. Almost like I’m coming out of general anasthesia.
Also it needs to be taken with 350 calories. So I either eat it with dinner and become a zombie (nearly fell asleep during band 2 hours after taking it on thursday) or I eat a giant before bed snack.
Called psych NP re meds but she rang back on my never used home number. Will talk on Monday. She played continued use of lurasidone but I will run out on Monday.
Hoping it’s not like Flowers for Algernon. I like being able to think.
200 mg lamotrigine
29 mg lurasidone
Quaker, teacher, parent,