This afternoon I found myself pulled back to the rock retaining wall project. I had applied bright blue nail polish last night in the hopes that a fresh manicure would keep me away from rock-hauling.
On the plus side the wall is now DONE. No more hefting stones.
Post wall-building I found myself feeling a bit off. A bit down maybe? A little clay-faced? Not sad. Not really. Just not available to many emotions.
I should chart my moods. I don't know how to do that. But I bet it would be helpful for my next visit with psychiatrist. I could probably even look back over posts and get a fairly okay-ish idea about a month worth of moods... we'll see.
Okay, I just charted my moods (each month marked whether there was Depressive episode, Manic episode or Mixed episode...) and I must say that reading through my blog posts I come out with at least one dip into Depression and one blip into mild manic and/or mixed state.
Naturally I spent too long reading the posts and looking over things so the online mood tracker did not save my data. Blast. Must do it again. Another time. Not now.
Okay, so I did it now.
And here is the interesting thing that I noticed... EVERY MONTH since I have been blogging (beginning in May 2013) I have had at least one hypomanic or mixed episode.
I pointed this out to spouse, but then I realized that he has lived with me for a while and has probably noticed this. Yes, he has. These energetic or anxiety-filled bursts of super-powered projects are NOT typical of unipolar Depression.
I have also dipped into Depression every month. Not for weeks at a time always, but at least a few days of Sad or Clay Face or just Down.
Grateful Crap: being done with that (*#$%&*@(!! wall
took meds (closer to morning)
time with family
Quaker, teacher, parent,