(back-dated post due to above-mentioned incapacitation)
Sometimes I think that I don't have bipolar.
That the way I experience the world is typical.
It seems likely that people who do not have a mood disorder
Do not have uncontrollable crying for an entire day
Triggered by a dead caterpillar
(metaphorically representing failure as a parent)
And these same people probably do not
Cry for the duration of an acupuncture appointment
Lying still in the darkness with tears rolling into their ears
And the only thing that stops the crying jag:
Listening to (but not watching) violent shows
Stitching tiny glass beads into deerskin
With a glover's needle
And a thimble made from masking tape
Unable to stop
The choices: shut out the world or dissolve into tears
This day (yesterday) was one of the worst. Could not cope with anything. Not even minor things.
So I did these things:
called the OFP and left a message that I needed to see her sooner rather than later (she scheduled me for Saturday).
called psych np
me: I'm really weepy *sniff*
psych NP: Still? That's not good. It started with the lithium, didn't it.
me: I don't know. Maybe. Yes.
psych NP: You need to stop the lithium. Take one pill today, one pill tomorrow and then done.
Equatorial actions: made some calls. that's all.
Quaker, teacher, parent,