I have felt overwhelmed and... well, overwhelmed.
Keep running through the list of people that I am supposed to contact (but have not).
I missed a meeting at work (I was sick that day, but I would at least have emailed to tell people I wasn't coming if I had been on the ball.
Then I failed to show up for a meeting that I had scheduled. BIG bonehead move.
Each time the children were too loud after school I put earplugs in my ears and hid in my dark bedroom until Spouse returned. Not Optimal.
Completely stressed out about get-togethers with people and flaked out and huddled in a corner berating myself for my lack of organizational skills and attention to detail and care for other people and ability to cope with a schedule... questioning my competence as a human being.
Like how I went right there?
Also guilty for not blogging.
And for making too many trips to the Goodwill for a few things that we do need along with a larger quantity of things that we don't need, but which just seemed too good to pass on.
So what have I been doing otherwise? Beading bracelets. Um... writing a lot.
I have written 37,000 words of my trashy novel so far. When I am feeling more... something, I will give you the rundown of the plot (without the trashy bits)
I have been taking my meds every fricken' day.
This coming week I a bunch of stuff that I will not forget:
I feel like I have to go back through all of my blog posts to see when the last time I saw the OFP was... it was a long time ago. I was supposed to go once a month but it hasn't worked out that way. I'm feeling like I have a bunch of behavioral crap that I should cover with her. She's gonna make me cry again, I bet you a dollar.
And with the psychiatrist? I really do want to get off the venlafaxine, but I'm wondering with my downward tendencies lately if it is such a good plan. That's why he gets the big bucks. Also wondering how to tell when dosage of lamotrigine is correct. Could it be that I could go off the venlafaxine but up the dose of lamotrigine, which has an antidepressant affect on bipolar people?
Oh... one sorta good thing that I contributed to: we came up with written rules for computer use after holding a family meeting. It was very "after school special." (do they have those anymore?)
The rules are:
people can only play games on the wii on the wiikend. (not wiikdays)
flip a coin to see who goes first
write start and end time down before you begin playing
make sure you are sitting where you can easily see a clock
And Don't Be an Ass (okay, that's an unwritten rule, but I feel like if you follow it, everything just comes out better.
I didn't want to check my email because I didn't want to see any responses from the people whose meeting I skipped (after setting it in the first place).
But the most organized one of the bunch, for whom I have a great deal of respect, sent me a very nice email. She told me that no one was upset about it, no problem. They were just confused because I had always been at the meetings-- early, even.
She also shared with me that she had been working real hard these days at not feeling terrible about things that aren't terrible.
Embroidery on my next beaded bracelet: not feeling terrible about things that aren't terrible?
too long. It would have to be a beaded necklace.
Quaker, teacher, parent,