Admittedly I did take a solid 2-hour nap this afternoon. But it is eight o'clock pm and I am still functional.
Worked in the basement for an hour today.
It is so super-hard not to set a project-based deadline. Like: I will work down here until I am done with this room. Or: I will be completely done with this room by such a date.
But see, that's the kind of feast or famine mentality that gets me in trouble and burns me out. Grak.
Sometimes goals can be helpful. Other times they are just helpy.
I'm sad. Or rather, for chunks of the day I have been experiencing sadness. But I think it is also a normal kind of sad. And as I have explained to myself before, it is not as if Kicking Depression's Ass will make me immune to being sad.
My eldest would like to do away with anger; this is his troubling emotion. I would be fine with letting go of sad. I don't do many productive things with that one. Anger I can take action. Anger is outward. Anger is the spur that lets me know I need to do something.
Sad just sucks. Sucks the light out of the room.
But aerobically cleaning the basement for an hour was actually quite nice. And the fact that I was not cheery was not a deterrent. I thought, well at least I will have something to show for today. And being normal sad really isn't that bad. It just isn't fun. I guess by definition that would follow.
I just thought of an upside to regular sad: when I am Really Depressed, I am too distant from myself to be sad. I am just not there. Empty. Floaty and clay-faced. If I am regular sad it is a good indication that Depression is not taking over.
Grateful Crap: regular tired, regular sad, regular stuff
took meds (150mg sertraline, 450mg bupropion)
(also treated allergies)
Made a giant pot of home-made dried bean soup (which is much better than it sounds)
Quaker, teacher, parent,