I'm practicing singing backup for myself. Got a little recorder, have a little voice, sing a little background vocals to elaborate on my foreground vocals.
The problem is, I am then HYPERCRITICAL of the results and there is always some note or other that is sharp or flat. Or one of me breathes at the wrong time.
It is really difficult to make eye contact with yourself to gauge timing when yourself is only an audio recording.
Thought I was going to practice tonight with other folks, but since that didn't pan out, I rehearsed the songs by myself. I would really like to like them well enough to share them with you, but that is certainly not the case yet. I am just learning how to record. And how to sing into a microphone. And how to edit multiple tracks together. Give me time.
I had several annoyingly bad dreams in the past two days.
In one of them, Spouse had decided to divorce me. Which he did not share with me until he had already purchased a house for himself and was moving out. I think he needed more moving boxes which is why he mentioned it to me.
When I told this to Spouse he told me I had stupid dreams. Or something equally reassuring.
My other bad dream was about meeting some art-guy (lined up by a friend at Quaker meeting) who wanted to look at my beadwork. Of course, no one told me that I was going to meet with him or why so I didn't have anything with me except two pins that I wanted to throw away because I didn't like how they had turned out.
He looked at them and said, "You really can't do art. Some people are born with the gift and they can't help it. They must make art. But you are not one of these people. You should never try to sell your work."
I asked if he had seen my website... because it had better samples of my work.
He told me that he had looked at my website and seen the entirety of my beadwork and he could categorically say that it was unsaleable. I should really be just giving it away.
Spouse pointed out that he was a mean and imaginary guy so I didn't need to listen to him. But even now I feel all discouraged and weird about my beadwork. Probably because I have been neglecting it lately for two reasons:
I do not have a show lined up (and I'm not sure I like shows anyway) AND I have been writing a lot.
The writing thing is good. And awesome. I now have 74,000 some words (up from 64,000 last draft) on my first trashy romance novel. I was able to incorporate the suggestions made by the reader at Harlequin Historicals and I think the finished(ish) product is much stronger. A good rejection letter is a fine thing.
So now I am going back through the whole thing and finding a bunch of mistakes and THEN I will have volunteer readers go through it for mistakes and suggestions (given that this was a substantial edit) and THEN I will send out another round of queries to agents and publishers.
I want to read the whole thing through on my kindle just for storyline consistency, but I am being so persnickity with word choice and weird typos and grammar-os that its not working for me. I will either need to read it through on my computer (which is what I have just done during the re-write) OR have a print copy made that I can scribble in.
Grateful Crap: Bad dreams that are just dreams.
Doing the Whole 30 eating thing for the month of October to get me off the sugar thing. It had gotten a wee bit out of hand. All sugar all the time.
meds: 150mg lamotrigine, 20mg lurasidone
Need to speak with Psych NP. She was going to make sure my prescription for lurasidone is set up properly. Otherwise I will run out this week. Which maybe I don't need to stay on. Because it could maybe just be an "as needed" medication when Depression creeps in. But I'd rather not take myself off of any meds since that is a Bad Plan and not on my List of Things to Do.
Quaker, teacher, parent,