The day went thusly:
Take child to see psych regarding anxiety. Because of anxiety. All the time. During the meeting, child becomes so anxious/angry/fearful that he becomes an armadillo and hides under the couch. Parenting point #1
Tell daughter to take a nap. Shockingly, after informing me that she is not tired, she drags out pillows and blankets to the living room and falls asleep.
Reluctant to wake the child, lose track of time and realize that we will be late to pick up the older children from the bus. No worries. They are Old. It is at a park. They can play and not worry too much. We won't be that late after all. Parenting point #2
Drag half-sleeping child out to the car with no shoes. Get a text from a parent saying, "Your oldest son got off the bus and there isn't anyone here to meet him." This is why we shared phone numbers, so that is great. I was able to say that I was on my way. No worries. Still, you hate to be late and I feel bad. Parenting point #3
Except I didn't notice that she said "Your oldest son," and not, "your boys."
Arrive at park and ask older boy where his brother is. He doesn't know. Presumably still on the bus, since he didn't get off at this stop. How did he not notice? Didn't look behind to see that brother was behind him, focused on sneaking up on a little girl that he thought was his sister (to the random little girl in a park in SE Minneapolis, I'm sorry about that). Parenting point #4
Call Spouse because I don't have any of the requisite emails from the school telling me what to do when I misplace my child (at least he is 9, and while likely a bit freaked out, he is not 5). Call bus company, they track down the bus and say the driver will swing back to the stop at the park after her last stop. So we wait. Parenting point #5
Finally meet up with younger boy. He is obviously distressed--although he has a blue tongue and sticky lips, so clearly it wasn't a complete loss. Why did he miss the stop? He was too busy watching someone else play minecraft to notice that the bus had stopped, much less to notice that it was his stop.
Okay, so I'm not sure how the scoring went, and I think I might have counted some things double when really they were part of the same parenting event. And it's not like I was being a crappy parent, per se. I was just having a less-than-ideal parenting afternoon. And it was kinda trying.
Here's the other crap that I did:
called and left a message in the OFP's voicemail so she wouldn't freak out. I guess when you are the therapist for a bipolar person who is typically doing just fine (or fine enough) and then they call and leave a message saying that they are down and it kinda sucks... you don't have much to go on. "down" covers a lot of ground. She jumped to the worst edge of down. When really, I was on the middle part of the not-so-worst edge of down. Just wanted to preemptively halt the slide. If I were on the worst edge, I would have left a message for her with their answering service. I like that they have an answering service so that if you call after hours you can talk to a real person if you are having a mental health crisis. I don't so much like that I can't enter the phone tree and leave a message for someone when I have their extension. Details.
made phone calls for work that I was pretty sure I was going to by UNABLE to do following the anxiety meeting in the morning.
My biggest hangup was the fact that I am doing a piss-poor job of getting my kids in to see the mental health care providers in a timely fashion. And i think that I didn't choose the providers well. I don't think my kids really like the people they are seeing. Not that they dislike them, mind you--but there is no connection. Which doesn't work. Which means I have to find new people. Which SUCKS. And I really don't want to. Parenting point #6
Realized that I on-purpose didn't find a play-therapy person for younger son because I mistakenly thought he was too old. No. That is his brother. Parenting point #7
Still really don't want to see any of you. Or the children. Just Spouse. It's different when I am with you, because I like you and all, but at the moment, anyone who intrudes on my solipsism is... intolerable.
I have written 52000 words on steamy novel II: the romance strikes back
I have put together a virtual gallery for my beading:
I have taught class, meeting new students and being generally engaging.
I have spoken with family--occasionally with a civil tongue.
I have picked up and taken my prescription. I have a partial bottle of lamotrigine in the house somewhere. I should run out of bupropion and lamotrigine at the same time. that did not happen. it is of concern. it is either the partial bottle that i left here when i went to the cabin or it is the partial bottle that i purchased on the way to the cabin. bollocks.
i have slept.
I am still liking this sleep app that I am using (Sleep Cycle). Because I am competitive (with myself) I am trying to improve my sleep scores. And I always have my phone charging by the bedside table, at night, so it is easy enough to set an alarm and stick the thing on my mattress. Don't know how accurate it is--claims to track periods of light sleep and deep sleep using the motion sensor. But I kinda don't care how accurate that part is. It does a great job of keeping track when I actually go to bed and when I wake up. So I am not guessing or lying. And I can compare the sleep log stuff with this. Eventually.
Also, must revisit Optimism.
They really should rename an app intended for bipolar people. When I am Down, the last thing I want to do is lick on an app named "optimism." I just want to kick its ass.
Quaker, teacher, parent,