5Several decades ago I took a learning styles inventory in which the instructor read a list of words and we were to quickly mark whether we had one of the following reactions to the word.
I know I'm getting the choices wrong. But it was something like that.
And clear down the entire list my reaction was #5.
The sounds of the words.
ONLY the sound of words.
And I was pretty sure that the inventory was ridiculous and that everyone in the classroom would have the same answers that I did.
I was wrong. Most people had more going on than just the sounds of the words. But I am hyper-auditory. That sound is where my brain goes naturally.
There was one word that did not fall into the ONLY SOUND category... I had an emotional reaction to the word
Spouse, by the way, is 193 cm.
This is a tangent, but in a way it is not a tangent. When I am a bit flittery... on the anxious side, on the manic edge of hypomanic... I draw great stability and calm from Spouse.
Which, as I have discussed with myself and others, is a fine coping mechanism so long as it is not my ONLY coping mechanism. Which is is not.
I had a very amusing experience in a crowd recently where I was feeling flittery and anxious (for no reason other than being in a crowd of people that I don't know) until I spotted a tall friend of mine standing some distance away. So long as I knew where he was (and you tall folk are terribly easy to spot) I felt quite able to deal with the crowd.
How interesting that this feeling of calm and stability has attached itself to "tall." Perhaps because I am adamantly not tall and so when I am trying to get out of my own way, I seek something opposite. Or maybe just because historically several of my close friends have been tall boys. Tall, quiet, calm boys.
Starting summer school tomorrow, and I am already missing the routine of knowing what will be happening every hour... knowing who I will eat lunch with... knowing where I will sit.
I have convinced plenty of people that I am a font of spontaneity, but I don't think that is strictly true. At all. Not right now, anyway.
Okay, regarding my medication decision-- hastily made and ill-informed-- i think I have changed my mind.
Psych NP wants me to try lurasidone (latuda) 20mg once per day to treat the bipolar Depression. It is possible that I would only need to take the lurasidone while experiencing Depressive symptoms, not as a maintenance drug.
I read some study that found lurasidone to be an effective, well-tolerated drug for the treatment of bipolar Depression AND found that weight gain was typically less than 1kg. Which is NOT 10% of my weight. If it were, we would have a whole other problem!
And so, I am going to follow the advice of Psych NP and I will start my own little drug trial tomorrow. I will be more faithful than usual in my posting, I will be tracking my mood, exercise, energy and weight. Then I will make an appointment to talk to Psych NP about the results of my study.
I thought you would be.
Quaker, teacher, parent,